2018 – a new year, new goals, new resolutions? Most of them don’t really last beyond January, statistics say. Dieting, sports to exhaustion, no alcohol, etc. Been there, done that, nearly every year. This year I am not in the mood for it. My new year didn’t start with a “boom here we go!”, and for many people I know it didn’t either. Friends who are in hospital, a family member fighting cancer, challenges in the job, health challenges … So no, I won’t make any of those typical resolutions, because I have learned throughout the past years that many times life just kicks your ass, nullifying all your detailed worked out plans in a heartbeat.
But there is one thing I want to do: I want to try to live the present moment, because in the end that is all we really have. The past is gone, we cannot change it, we cannot bring it back, and the future is not here yet and we can’t control it.
Mindfulness – when Mindfulness-Based Stress Reduction (MBSR) was first introduced, it was mostly psychologists and psychotherapists who considered it a useful tool in treating depression or burnout. Meanwhile more and more doctors realize that the prescription of pills alone will not heal many diseases, because body, mind and soul have to be seen as an entity and should be treated holistically.
Although I am far from really having mindfulness integrated into my daily life, I realize that if and when I do, I feel better. It doesn’t mean that my life all of a sudden changes to the better, it just means that I am more aware of the good things in my life, more aware of what is going on right now instead of dwelling on the past or worrying about the future. Taking small time outs daily to refocus is something I want to do more often in 2018. Focus on the moment and not have my mind cluttered with tons of useless shit all the time.
A very good SL friend is some steps ahead on that, and I appreciate having her in my life. She inspires me to being mindful and to having a positive outlook on life despite all the problems and dark clouds on the horizon. Thank you for that, you know who you are! To see you grow and thrive and our hour long talks are truly an inspiration for me many times!
So, I will start right now, turn off the TV, shut down the PC, and try to let go of all the stupid things on my mind for just a little while. And I will try to fall asleep with a smile on my face, a thankful thought and a positive outlook to the day ahead, the week ahead, the month ahead, the year ahead …
That feeling of being torn between the different parts of your self. You want to be in company and at the same time you want to be all by yourself. You crave to see the people you care for and at the same time they are too much somehow. You jump back and forth between “alright I can do that” and “ah fuck this!” constantly.
Your heart and your mind seem to be in a constant battle. Your pride throws in a few words, followed by your ego. Your loveable side is whispering in one ear, while your assholish side tries to be heard in your other ear. You remember the story of the two wolves, which one are you going to feed?
You wish there was an On/Off Button for your feelings somewhere. You try to remember how those moments of inner peace felt. But your mind is playing tricks on you. It keeps bringing up exactly those pictures that you don’t want to see at all – in bright colorful CinemaScope of course. You turn on the radio and of course they play that song that totally goes along with your mood and your mindfuck. And you wallow in all your could haves, should haves, would haves …
Sebastiao Salgado is one of my favorite contemporary photographers. His work shows what is wrong with out world and how evil humans can really be.
Wim Wenders’ documentary “The Salt of the Earth” is a great retrosepctive of Salgado’s opera and well worth watching.
Great song, great band! Gonna go see them soon! Yay!